My Blog: September 23, 2018

Mid-Life Crisis in my 20's ?!?!

What is a Mid-Life Crisis? Stereotypically, this seemed to happen in person's 50s. It is based on whether the person is happy with the accomplishments/successes he or she has had to that point in life and can age without having several regrets. The lack of being where one wants to be could lead to feelings of unhappiness or depression and isolation which can affect one's relationships with people, work, etc.

Could it happen to a 20-something?

So, although this is often referenced to older adults, it wasn't until I got to my mid-20s that I realized this also happens to young adults. I was hitting a phase in life where social media showed me trends of where my former High School classmates were meeting milestones earlier in life than I felt I was meeting them. Some of these milestones were:

Discussing these feelings with my friends I found that I was not alone. They were also experiencing this "low", typically based off comparisons of self to the social media of their "friends" or acquaintances.

So, what do I do if I'm having a 20's crisis?

Well, first things first: I am NOT a licensed therapist/psychiatrist/psychologist/etc. My opinions are based off personal experience.

My suggestion is to think of when these feeling were NOT present. What was the status of your life then and why were you able to be okay at that point? For example, if you are struggling with being single but there was a time when you were single and happy, what filled that space at the time? Is that still accessible or is there an alternative to fill that space?

Often I found that support systems I had built had changed and I indirectly noticed it until it had built up. For example, I used to be involved in a gym were I had developed gym-based friendships and downtime to de-stress. I stopped going due to lack of time and those friendships/supports haven't been present or that de-stressors. I didn't think that it had affected me but that was a release and a sense of fun that I was now passively missing out on.

Solution:I still had issues with finding enough time to do all that I used to but I attempted to attend at least 2 classes a month.



It may be difficult to fully work through these differences independently and if that is the case, a counselor/therapist is a terrific sounding board. Personally, I had a therapist for about 3-4 months a few years ago. I saw her bi-weekly during that timeframe and it helped immensely to analyze and dissect my thoughts.

We are living in a new time. Todays youth are not necessarily being raised to build families but to have a skillset to achieve their career ambitions(and for some, that is to have a family still). Due to this, that drive to be the best is hitting both men and women to be competitive and push back other things in life for the sake of their careers.

Is the Grass Greener on the Other Side?

REMEMBER, as you are admiring an aspect of someone life, they may be admiring an aspect of yours that they don't have. It takes a lot of energy to hate and be jealous. Instead, take that energy and focus it towards your skillset and get to where you want to be.

Try and find a way to be okay with not being okay. Establish and hold onto the true characteristics of what adds value to you for when the "low" hits, you have something to combat it with.

Stay Strong and Tomorrow Can be Better if You Keep a Positive Mindset! Until Next Time--- Brittani

XOXO from Brittani